Help For Family's of Alcoholics

I once was in a meeting of Al Anon, the family support group for the spouse and adult family members of an alcoholic.  Someone ushered in a woman who showed signs of great distress.  Her hair was disheveled, her clothes carelessly picked and her behavior rather frenetic.  Her story almost exploded out of her.  She burst into tears.  I don't remember the story, but it was greatly similar to others including my own.


The following meeting the woman was calm and collected.  She had donned a nice casual outfit and had even combed her hair.  Her anger had subsided.  She was ready to listen and learn. 


Another time, I heard the new story of a much more self confident and verbal woman.  She told how she went home from work day after day to find her husband and a bunch of his friends hanging out together.  They were in various stages of drunkenness.  When she had her fill of living like that, she turned on the lot of them.  She told them "'unass' my chairs and get yourselves out my door."


Like with all problems there is no one response and no completely identical set of behaviors -- either from the alcoholic or the family members.  What was it these women or any spouse of an alcoholic has to learn?  That, as in all relationships, there is no one person completely wrong.  There is also no one person completely right.  One living with an alcoholic needs to learn what they do that assists the drinker to continue the self-destructive path.  Al Anon is a major source of help -- of support -- of strength.  And it is as anonymous as you need it to be.  Materials can be purchased at meetings.  These include books of devotionals as well as descriptions of dysfunctional marriages and relationships.


Sometimes people can get help and support from friends.  This can prove to be a great burden on your acquaintances.  A pastor or priest can help.  Professional counseling services as well as psychologists and psychiatrists should be well versed in situations like this.


The thing to remember is that you are not alone.  Others have been and/or are in your shoes.  Even if you feel like you are hanging off a cliff by your fingernails, help is available.  Seek it out.