On "Kiss and Tell With Jenny", a segment of The View, recently, Dan Savage said research has shown that even people involved in "monogamous" marriages will cheat. He said 60% of men as well as 40% of women report infidelities. The reasons, according to Savage, are a need for newness and adventure. (I would suggest it has something to do with not being monogamous chemically).
Savage, a columnist dealing with sexual issues, apparently doesn't get it. Generations of humans have been aware that people can be attracted to others besides their mates. The big deal about monogamy is choice and commitment. There definitely is no magic button to push that tells oneself not to have chemical attractions to others. The choice and commitment are a mental and physical stop sign.
One chooses to stay faithful. One promises to be with nobody else despite temptations. Then, ladies and gentlemen, one remains faithful for spouse and family. At least most women do, even though research apparently shows that most men do not.
The thing I've never fully understood is how many men want their wives to think they are having affairs even if they aren't. There is some kind of sadistic need in some individuals to impress upon their mates that others are anxious to get into their beds. Thus, they cause as much unnecessary stress in the relationship as they can.
But usually the spouse knows when her mate is unfaithful. They also can detect when they are being true. What they can't understand is the need of the other to hurt them by a real or imagined affair.
No comments:
Post a Comment