Quite some years ago I had a brief idea of starting a column teaching people how to learn a craft or hobby. It seemed a matter of self preservation for me at the time. I was the go-to person for people who get bored. Nothing to do? Dial Lou. Tired of rattling around? Call Mom. It's hard to know if they call me because they believe that I'm just rattling around also. For sure, they never seem to give a thought that I might have something they shouldn't interrupt going on at the other end of the line.
A recent AARP publication inspired these thoughts again. I couldn't believe the positions taken. There was dread of how long retirement would be. Others were urged to frenetically design their unstructured futures. All the advice (except to save, save, save, for your end years) seemed to take the joy right out of the prospect. Let me tell you -- structured or unstructured -- those years will just zip through your hands. And don't feel you're facing endless hours with nothing to do. I've many times threatened to go back to work so I can get some rest. Oh, she's not doing anything, she can run my errands. He's retired, so we can get him to volunteer at church . . . or school . . . or the hospital. People who hardly speak to you on a regular day have no reluctance to ask you to take care of their kid, for free if possible. Those lessons you had at fifty about it being okay to say no, will never be more helpful. The greatest puzzle to me is how many people, including almost strangers, have seen my education (B. S. in Journalism, M. A. in Educational Research and Psychology, All But Dissertation in School Psychology) as perfect training for cleaning their houses while they gallivant around being pretentious. I wonder why they think I did all that work being schooled when I could have cleaned houses if I had been a high school dropout.
Then there are the ones who resent you for knowing how to do something that they always wanted to know how to do. An acquaintance organized a dinner party to introduce me to two people involved in theater. Her stated reason was she wanted to see my book turned into a play so she could say she knew the author. Dinner had barely begun before she tells them that I've written a novel. "Oh, I've always wanted to do that exclaimed one of them." With that, he exhaled in a disappointed sigh and abruptly changed the subject. End of her fantasy.
Envying someone's golf skills or piano playing is common. It is also a waste of time. If there are things you have always wanted to know how to do, retirement is the time to do it. Buy a piano keyboard and learn to play by using self teaching books. Take bridge or poker lessons. Have a neighbor show you how to crochet. Her help plus self help books should do the trick. (Offer to pay her for her time). Take golf, tennis, swim lessons.
Go to hobby supply stores and inquire about their classes in knit or embroidery. Join a quilting guild that offers lessons for beginners. Check out how-to books from the library. Join a book discussion club. Buy an old wooden boat and rehab it. Learn to repair small appliances. Some construction supply stores offer how-to classes if you buy from them.
There is no reason why anyone should ever suffer from lack of activities. I've even known men who formed Liar's Clubs so they could meet for breakfast and play bragging games with others.
Retirement should be the "time of your life". So save, save, save now and enjoy it later. Hobbies can be expensive and it's a sure thing our Congress isn't planning to give up their retirement packages to save ours.
Then tell yourself that anyone of average to above average intelligence can do anything they want as long as they are willing to put forth the effort. It's true.
Thursday, November 20, 2014
Sunday, November 9, 2014
We Don't Name Teams After Losers
I know I'm in the minority here, but I've never seen the problem with naming ball teams after Native Americans or any other group. People sure don't name their teams The Washington Losers -- or The Washington Weasels -- or The Washington Rats, do they? It seems to me they try to honor their teams by naming them after the most formidable and respected opponents they know.
In any event, I believe the Washington Redskins were named before the age of paranoia and political correctness came into full bloom. Would the Redskins be the same under any other name? Hardly. Neither would they seem as much a part of our sports groups as they do now.
I know, I know -- some Native Americans get all bent out of shape about being called by a color. Yet, others of different skin colors might feel revered. Let's try the Washington White Skins, for instance. Why don't we honor them?
If you have followed my three blogs the last few years, you will know that I am part Native American, part redskin so to speak. You do me honor by choosing one of the races within me for your team name. I know you would not name the team you love after someone you hate. I can't imagine where that idea originated.
In any event, I believe the Washington Redskins were named before the age of paranoia and political correctness came into full bloom. Would the Redskins be the same under any other name? Hardly. Neither would they seem as much a part of our sports groups as they do now.
I know, I know -- some Native Americans get all bent out of shape about being called by a color. Yet, others of different skin colors might feel revered. Let's try the Washington White Skins, for instance. Why don't we honor them?
If you have followed my three blogs the last few years, you will know that I am part Native American, part redskin so to speak. You do me honor by choosing one of the races within me for your team name. I know you would not name the team you love after someone you hate. I can't imagine where that idea originated.
Sunday, November 2, 2014
Bully Behavior
Bully behavior is everywhere. It touches all walks of life and all age levels.
For instance, there is a bully on television who is currently counseling people on -- you guessed it -- bullying others. Just because a person hangs out a shingle and sells himself/herself as a therapist doesn't make the individual perfect. The famous can have clay feet.
There are bullies on television who are running courtrooms. It makes for interesting, if controversial, fodder. However, one who holds as much power as a judge probably should tone it down a tad.
All of us remember bullies in school. Frequently they were the biggest kids. Sometimes they were popular with the in crowds. Always they made the most vulnerable miserable.
Of course, the literature right now is making us aware of bullying in cyberspace. This kind of bullying often results in teen suicide.
Even people who are seldom out in public can be bullied in their neighborhoods. I keep running into these related to parking. No less than three men have taken it upon themselves to tell me where I can and cannot park. Our complex has no assigned areas. This is published over and over in the newsletter. It suggests that we respect the spots where others usually park their cars. It also says to ask our visitors to park in overload areas instead of near the buildings. My car was recently in a repair shop for two straight weeks. People who had previously respected my spot began to use it. Why wouldn't they? Even I wasn't sure it was repairable until the end of the two weeks.
When I got the car back, I didn't expect to magically get the space back. I just began parking in the least congested area near my home. So, one day when I left for a shopping trip, a guest of a neighbor parked in the spot and stayed there for a few days. I picked another spot that was used only by visitors. When I left that spot yesterday, it was taken over by a guest of a neighbor. So, I picked the next space over that has not had a permanent car for at least two or three months.
All at once two men converged on me saying "Do you want to move on down?" Well, no I didn't. I had a bag of library books and groceries to carry. I had no wish to carry them very far. Then the man who was the resident of the nearest apartment told me where I used to park -- as though I were too stupid to know that. He said I was parked in his space near his sidewalk. I reminded him he hadn't had a car for some months and that he had lived here long enough to know we don't have reserved parking anyway. He said we are supposed to respect other people's spots and he had a friend that visited. You know! I'm supposed to respect his empty spot for the friend he is supposed to send to the overload lots.
Oh, did I mention? The other times my spots were taken while I was shopping were taken by friends of his who were visiting.
Needless to say, I did not move my car. Of course, relationships in the area are strained right now, as they always are with this individual. I'm told he even deliberately damaged a neighbor's car when said individual parked behind him several years ago. He has frequent shouting matches with other individuals . . . frequent fires in his fire pit . . . frequent day long parties with loud music and many cars . . . and a habit of badmouthing others to his friends.
Yes, as I said there are bullies everywhere. For the very vulnerable they can make life miserable. Some of us just aren't as vulnerable as we appear at age seventy-six. And some of us have an editorial blog where we can air our issues. Some people actually even read them.
Regrettably, some of these bullies are serving as models for others. Tsk, tsk. I'll hate living near their kids and their nieces and nephews when they become teenagers.
For instance, there is a bully on television who is currently counseling people on -- you guessed it -- bullying others. Just because a person hangs out a shingle and sells himself/herself as a therapist doesn't make the individual perfect. The famous can have clay feet.
There are bullies on television who are running courtrooms. It makes for interesting, if controversial, fodder. However, one who holds as much power as a judge probably should tone it down a tad.
All of us remember bullies in school. Frequently they were the biggest kids. Sometimes they were popular with the in crowds. Always they made the most vulnerable miserable.
Of course, the literature right now is making us aware of bullying in cyberspace. This kind of bullying often results in teen suicide.
Even people who are seldom out in public can be bullied in their neighborhoods. I keep running into these related to parking. No less than three men have taken it upon themselves to tell me where I can and cannot park. Our complex has no assigned areas. This is published over and over in the newsletter. It suggests that we respect the spots where others usually park their cars. It also says to ask our visitors to park in overload areas instead of near the buildings. My car was recently in a repair shop for two straight weeks. People who had previously respected my spot began to use it. Why wouldn't they? Even I wasn't sure it was repairable until the end of the two weeks.
When I got the car back, I didn't expect to magically get the space back. I just began parking in the least congested area near my home. So, one day when I left for a shopping trip, a guest of a neighbor parked in the spot and stayed there for a few days. I picked another spot that was used only by visitors. When I left that spot yesterday, it was taken over by a guest of a neighbor. So, I picked the next space over that has not had a permanent car for at least two or three months.
All at once two men converged on me saying "Do you want to move on down?" Well, no I didn't. I had a bag of library books and groceries to carry. I had no wish to carry them very far. Then the man who was the resident of the nearest apartment told me where I used to park -- as though I were too stupid to know that. He said I was parked in his space near his sidewalk. I reminded him he hadn't had a car for some months and that he had lived here long enough to know we don't have reserved parking anyway. He said we are supposed to respect other people's spots and he had a friend that visited. You know! I'm supposed to respect his empty spot for the friend he is supposed to send to the overload lots.
Oh, did I mention? The other times my spots were taken while I was shopping were taken by friends of his who were visiting.
Needless to say, I did not move my car. Of course, relationships in the area are strained right now, as they always are with this individual. I'm told he even deliberately damaged a neighbor's car when said individual parked behind him several years ago. He has frequent shouting matches with other individuals . . . frequent fires in his fire pit . . . frequent day long parties with loud music and many cars . . . and a habit of badmouthing others to his friends.
Yes, as I said there are bullies everywhere. For the very vulnerable they can make life miserable. Some of us just aren't as vulnerable as we appear at age seventy-six. And some of us have an editorial blog where we can air our issues. Some people actually even read them.
Regrettably, some of these bullies are serving as models for others. Tsk, tsk. I'll hate living near their kids and their nieces and nephews when they become teenagers.
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