The Real Positive Approach

Perhaps some definitions are the best way to begin this article.

Positive reinforcement is any stimulus or event that follows a behavior that increases the probability that the behavior will occur again.

Negative reinforcement is any stimulus or event that follows a behavior, the removal of which, increases the probability that a behavior will occur again.

Note that reinforcement always increases the behavior.  Punishment, on the other hand, always decreases the behavior.  So, you want to increase a behavior like having a child put away his toys.  With positive reinforcement, you need to apply a consequence that increases the behavior.  How do you know what consequence to use?  You don't.  You may have to try more than one before you find one that brings the increase.  There are a few consequences that most children would like well enough to cause a behavioral change, but not all people like the same things. 

It is my understanding that Transactional Analysis was the source for the expression "different strokes for different folks", which is sort of similar to saying, "one man's trash is another man's treasure".  Since we are not all alike, what is a reinforcer for one may be punishing to another.

This is what is meant as functional definitions.  We do not willy nilly apply rewards and reinforcers.  We apply consequences to behaviors.  We wait to see if that consequence increases, decreases, or has no effect to determine whether it is a reinforcer, punisher or a neutral stimulus.  I worked as a tutor/grader in a private summer school.  One boy came in and worked really well until he got M & M's for his first assignment.  After that he quit working.  Instead he played with the M & M's.  What was meant as a "reward" decreased work, thus punished working.

When using these methods it is always best to use positive reinforcement to effect change.  This would be the real positive approach.  Refraining from using negative reinforcement or punishment is more effective and makes a more pleasant environment for all concerned.  It also teaches what to do in a faster and more effective manner.  The person whose behavior is being modified, as well as all those around, experience less uncertainty and fear from the consequences.  From the start, when stating the goal, it is best to state it as a use of positive reinforcement.  For instance, it should be stated as the goal is to increase Harry's putting away his toys by following the behavior with candy, stuff or fun events as well as praise.  One or more will probably increase the behavior.  Eventually the tangibles can be phased out and praise will be enough.  Depending on the kid, a clean room might one day keep him working.

Staying positive, then, is a matter of using positive reinforcement, not just walking around with a cheesy smile.