Saturday, October 24, 2015

Not Nice, Just Likable

There was a person in my world for some time who thought nothing of telling falsehoods.  Said person was extremely good at it, so good that someone could be telling the truth beside the person and he/she telling a bald-faced lie, and people would believe the liar.

The other day, I was listening to someone describing an individual I did not know.  A long list of stories was being told which included a couple of low-level crimes.  Then the narrator said the individual was a "nice person".  When faced with skepticism from a listener, the story teller said, "No, really, this is a really nice individual".

I don't think so.  I think he/she is a really likable, though not nice, person.  Do you understand the difference between likable and nice?

A nice person is always polite and thinks of others.  He avoids breaking laws.  She places other's needs before her own, sometimes to her own detriment.  A nice person would never knowingly create problems and then not try to help resolve them.  They are not perfect, but they do their best to do the right thing when needed.

Not all good or nice people are likable.  Not all likable people are good or nice.

Take the con artist.  Nobody would ever be able to pull a con on someone unless they had a likable personality.  They can pull off a sting with ease because others want to please them. Others want them to be as good inside as they appear on the surface  --  the facade.

A bully, for instance, makes people do his/her bidding by exercising brute force.  Who likes a bully?  But, if a bully learns to finesse and manipulate, to be persuasive and likable, he can be seen to be nice.  The facade is deceiving.  The core is still bully.

There are a lot of levels of nice/not nice in the spectrum of humans.  Figuring out the difference is necessary for us to survive, at least emotionally.  Unfortunately, we live in a world where not everybody is trustworthy.  Knowing the difference between nice and likable could come in very handy.



No comments:

Post a Comment